BEGINNINGS

Day Six: Friday First – Share Your First Blog Post

So today’s blogging prompt is about sharing our first blog post. I fear that one is long gone. I think that WordPress is the third blogging website that I’ve used over the years. And I believe that both of the other two websites are now defunct, and gone with them are the blogs they once housed. I can say that one thing has been constant however – there is always a spiritual aspect to my blogs. I know that at least several of my blogs have had the Zen label attached to them somehow. And my 15 journals are all titled “Spirit Journals”, with various subtitles attached to all but a few.

I did go back, just a few moments ago, to the very first entry of my first journal, dated September 16, 1996. Beginning that first journal was actually the culmination of an awakening of sorts that had begun unfolding a few years earlier, sometime around 1993-ish, when I realized I was leading a very “surface” life and it wasn’t feeling very rewarding. I wanted to go deeper – I wanted to figure out what my life was supposed to be about and I wanted to have a face-to-face with this entity called “God” and get my marching orders so I would have some sense of purpose and destiny.

Looking back on all of that now, and from a multi-life, karmic perspective, I can say with all humility that I actually awoke from a dream and moved up the ladder of consciousness a step or two so it is nice to know that I have actually “evolved” a bit in this particularly iteration of my life and hopefully it will set me up nicely for the next go round. Of course, if the Universe has the sense of humor that I suspect it does, my next go round may be as an enlightened ant or something but hey, if I can laugh about it, then that will be okay with me.

Now one of the things that awakened with me (and I did not “awaken” all at once – it has been a long, slow process), was my sense of intuition about what I needed to be doing. I think that it maybe wasn’t so much an awakening process as an awareness process in that I actually started to listen to my inner voice – like, oh, I have an inner voice – now what the hell does it want?  Well, two things really. Find teachers to help you along your path, and document your journey. And at the heart of everything since then has been those two elements. I have found beautiful, wonderful, incredibly wise teachers (I recently married the wisest teacher of them all), and I have rather thoroughly documented my journey.  The various iterations of my blogs have always been about that journey but at the core of everything, really, are my journals.

And now, having read the very first journal entry I wrote, although not by any stretch my first writing which tends towards bad poetry and even worse fiction (think “Batman meeting arch nemesis – Rabbit Woman” – I kid you not!  And her method of “slow death” was to crush Batman with a giant tooth – and I wasn’t even doing drugs – this is like, 7th grade creative writing – I do remember getting a D for that particular piece of work).

Ah…but now, I digress. Here is an excerpt from that first journal entry –

 

September 16, 1996 – 11:40 pm

 This is the first entry in my spirit journal, which I have yet to put together.  Today I embark upon my spiritual journey.  I am not sure where it will lead me but already things seem to be moving to some sort of new life for me.

I talked to my mother today.  She was in a good mood.  It was refreshing to see for a change.  She told me Diana had read the Celestine Prophecy and had enjoyed it immensely.  I wonder if something is really going on….if we are finally awakening to some greater consciousness.  God, I hope so…..I don’t think we have much time left to amend our ways.  There was an interesting little article taped to the wall by my mother’s telephone.  It said that the world had already reached the upper limits of the population that it can support and, in fact, has even exceeded those limits.  My conclusion….Mother Earth is in trouble.

Tonight I decided to put my medicine wheel key chain onto a piece of leather I had bought.  Afterwards I ended up putting some beads on it too.  It’s funny, when I bought all this craft stuff at Wal-Mart’s the other day I had no clear idea of what I was going to do with it.  And tonight, it just kind of all fell into place and now I have something that I made to wear around my neck.  It feels right.  I feel as though I can’t just buy the things I need….the “thing” that I am looking for.  I have to make them for myself.  What I seek, can’t be given to me.  I have to earn it, make it.  It feels right.  Aho.

Tonight I started to read “Spirit Medicine” by Wolf Moondance.  She says her path takes a year of commitment.  I will make that commitment.  Starting tonight.  The journey starts with this journal.  I did my first smudge tonight.  I used the sage to “bless” my special things that I’ve been collecting…..my mishomis, my special feather, my recorder, my blue feather, which is my color, and always has been.  I lit my smudge stick of sage for the first time.  I burned a white candle to bring me purity and truth, which I forever seek.  Soon I will try for my vision quest.  My purpose is other than what I now do, that I am sure of.  Aho.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Admittedly, there is a lot of naiveté in this writing, but already, too, I am beginning to understand a few things and I am beginning to listen to that inner voice and now, 17 years later I can look back and say, “what a hell of a ride it has been”, and I am proud of what I have accomplished and of how I have grown. Hell, I might even become “wise” some day.

 

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7 Responses to BEGINNINGS

  1. TinkNL says:

    Wow, 1996…but I still liked to read that entry today! May the journey that started with your first journal last for the rest of your life. There’s no way to happiness, happiness is the way!

  2. Jen Trulson says:

    Very interesting. I’ve been involved with Sage Goddess over the last few months and slowly incorporating ritual and ceremony on a different level in my life. It’s fun reading about your adventures back in 1996… and I’m sure you’ve come a long way baby. Where my journey into this feels so new and so right. Thank you for sharing.

  3. How fun – like receiving a letter from you old self! Postcards on your journey. P.S. I admit I’m giggling at the image of giant-toothed Rabbit Woman. I’m afraid you may have planted a can’t erase image. 😉

  4. Oh, John, you’ve made me so curious to read more about your spiritual adventures along the way since 1996. I’m really digging the sentiment, “I think that it maybe wasn’t so much an awakening process as an awareness process in that I actually started to listen to my inner voice…” as I definitely feel like a lot of us find that that voice was there all along, whether or not we were (as) completely aware of it.

  5. Helen says:

    I really enjoyed reading your first spirit journal entry. A journal for the journey.

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