CHANGE OF DIRECTION

“As you think, you travel. As you love, you attract. You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You cannot escape the results of your thoughts; but you can endure and learn, accept and be glad. You will realize the vision of your heart, not the idle wish. You will gravitate toward that which you most secretly love. Into your hand will be placed the exact result of your thoughts; you will receive that which you earn; no more, no less. Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain, or rise with your thoughts, your vision – your ideal.”

~

Unknown

April 9th

 

I must confess, I have been on the most amazing journey. I think it started on the day that I was born. It is still ongoing, even as I sit here on a Saturday evening, typing away and wondering what I am even going to say. I will start by saying that my heart is full and more with a deep, deep Gratitude for the way my life has unfolded. I am also deeply grateful for all of the amazing teachers that I have had in my life. Truly, too numerous to name them all, just as I am certain there are many whose names I never had the chance to get because they came into, and moved out of, my life so fast that there simply wasn’t a chance to inquire as to name.

 

I chose the quote above to begin tonight’s entry because it is absolutely perfect for where I am in my life at this very moment. Shall I proclaim it boldly and uncensored? I am in love – deeply in love – and to be sure it is an experience that, for a time, I did not think I would know again in this lifetime. Or, perhaps it is more apt to say that I was not sure that I would ever find, again, the depth of love that I once knew. And yet here I am, standing on the precipice, or perhaps having already stepped over and into the ether of “not knowing” wherein I have found again that deep, deep connection with another being that is that thing for which we all yearn.

 

There are so many moments within this experience that are beyond the ability of mere mortal words to describe. Perhaps Rumi might have the appropriate verbiage, but it seems lacking in one so mortal as myself. I can only say that I feel deeply blessed and humbled at my great fortune in finding another person with whom I feel so connected and with whom I feel such a profound love for… a love that transcends the physical and becomes something so visceral in its intensity that to express in words seems almost an act of profanity.

 

[Pause]

 

Ok, so searching for Rumi quotes on love, it seems that even he is a bit challenged by the phrasing of it. I did however find a verse that I do like  –

 

When you find yourself with the Beloved,

Embracing for one breath…

In that moment you will find your true destiny.

Alas, don’t spoil this precious moment.

Moments like this are very, very rare.

From Thief of Sleep by Shahram Shiva

 

 

How well do I know the rarity of these moments. My own life is populated by family, friends and acquaintances for whom such a moment has yet to manifest, and for whom, perhaps, such a moment may never manifest. To what then do I owe my good fortune? I think it is captured in the quote that I have shared, to wit, that I dare to imagine, to believe and to think that I myself am deserving of such a destiny – that I may in fact be a kind of co-creator of the life in which I am ensconced and that through the power of my thought, hopes and intentions alone, I may affect a path for myself that will lead me to those moments that I believe are waiting for me.

 

I dare to believe that such things exist in the world and while I am humble enough to understand that such things are not a birthright of sorts, I am still encouraged and determined enough to believe that with sufficient persistence of vision, I will ultimately manifest that which I desire. And what is it that I desire? What is it that we all desire? Sometimes I feel that it is no less than my own personal quest for the Holy Grail. I have taken that most noble of pursuits and defined it for myself in a manner that meets the times in which I find myself. And yet, there are some things which are timeless, some stories which repeat over and over again throughout the course of human history. A hero’s quest, a fool’s errand? Who is to say? I search for no more than, nor less than, love – in its purest form.

 

And yet, what would that be? Forever it would seem that that is the quest of men, and of women. And forever it seems so elusive. Does perfect love exist? Perhaps it is found in this desire that we create a God who represents a kind of perfect love. Unconditional, unwavering love. Of course, not all Gods emanate this. It seems that only in our higher moments do we create a God such as this. It is a God that transcends the human condition of suffering and misery and greed and sadness and offers us a glimmer of hope that there is something that is all-accepting, that will take us in and heal our wounds and heal our grief and pain, no matter how egregious our actions have been.

 

In those moments then, when we find this glimmer of love within another, we touch, for a moment, the possibility that this exists on a more intimate level that transcends our earthly existence and transcends our suffering and offers us the promise of the fulfillment of a yearning for which we all hunger. Perhaps we touch the very spirit of God itself. And then we know that such a state exists and in that knowing we find, however momentary, our soul’s salvation.

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One Response to CHANGE OF DIRECTION

  1. Linda/BobC says:

    So happy for you and best wishes for your continued journey.Linda C

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